Today was a good day

I feel like my last post probably makes it seem like I have really bad children.

I don't.

I just don't think I know what to expect, nor do I have other kids to compare them to, so I just assume they are the worst.

But, so far, today they are pretty awesome.

We went to open playtime at the local parent resource center. Other than a few sassy moments, it went pretty well. Then we met a friend out for lunch. This was only the SECOND time in their lives that they've all been out together and the FIRST when it was just me. Overall, not a bad time. Olivia got up from her chair a few times, but ate most of her lunch and Kellen did leak through his diaper but a quick pants change and he was back to eating. Luckily Owen fell asleep for most of the time, so that helped too.

I am very proud of myself. I am consciously trying not to yell and trying to do more time outs than spankings.

Today was a good day!

Can we get personal for a minute?

When I have days like this, I often wonder if I made the wrong decision staying home.

It can happen at any minute. I get a dirty look from a salesperson because my kids are loud and sassy. I feel overwhelmed because none of them will listen or follow instructions. They constantly fight with each other and it always ends up getting physical. I can't run any errands because shopping carts aren't designed for more than one child (unless you're at Sam's Club of course) and I can't physically wear both Owen and Kellen around a store for long. Olivia will tell me she'll walk next to the cart but I turn around and she's gone. I can't even bring them to an open playtime because Olivia "hates" everybody and she doesn't keep it to herself.

So I have two reactions....and neither of them are good....for anyone.

There's the DO NOTHING reaction. I just sit there and wonder if this is some kind of test that I just need to get through. It's like I'm frozen in time and everything is just happening around me. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to say. It all builds up inside and I just give up. I can't appreciate anything good that does happen because I'm wallowing in the bad.

There's the BLOW UP reaction. I just yell. YELL. YELL. YELL. And, yes, I've doled out the occasional spanking too. I hold a grudge. For a long time. And they don't care. It doesn't help. Sometimes they'll just laugh at me and go about their day. It makes me feel worse and it doesn't accomplish anything. At least when you blow your top with an adult, you can talk it out and usually come to a resolution. I can't seem to retrain my brain to deal with kids instead of adults.

I'm not really sure what to do. I've started exercising to relieve some of the stress. I've been attending a bible discussion group to try to find some faith. I've discussed it with close friends and family to try and get some advice.

It seems like it starts with me more than anything. I'm so focused on changing THEM that I forget I have to change me. And that's not an easy thing to do. I don't know if it's anger management, anti-anxiety meds are just a really long vacation that I need, but I sure need to find something soon.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's weird that this day celebrates a bunch of people getting murdered but whatever....

We don't personally celebrate Valentine's Day because my birthday is on the 10th and I don't feel is fair to stick the hubby with the gift giving task just 4 days apart. He usually does something doubly awesome for my birthday to make up for it. This year I received a gift certificate for a pedicure, manicure and the new Just Dance 2 Wii game. And a HUGE ice cream cake from Dairy Queen (probably my favorite).

I've also been given a few nights alone to myself to run errands. That's one of the best gifts of all!

Give your loved ones a big hug and kiss today....and every day!

Things that make me go hmmm.....

Brail on an ATM.

Decaffinated coffee.

Rubbery gripper thingies on socks sized 0-3 months.

Baby backpacks.

Pockets on the back of baby pants.

The guys in the wheelchair that I saw at Walmart who had to remove his oxygen mask in order to take a drag off his cigarette.

Mothers who are driving Escalades but their children have holes in their shoes.

My toddler can fall dead asleep in the car and then have a bundle of energy the minute the car turns off.

If I airdry my hair, the ends take forever to dry. If I blow dry my hair, the ends dry first.

The driver who tailgates you in the fastlane only to pass you and immediately exit the highway.

Blog roll!

Do you have a blog you love to read? Would you like some more readers for your blog? Share it with me! Feel free to leave a comment with a blog you love (or your own blog) as I would love to find some new blogger friends!

What a day! What a day!

We had our first day at home. It had some challenges but overall, everyone is still alive so YEAH!

We watched more TV than I planned and Kellen didn't get lunch until 1:40 but we worked it out. The weather has been awful....lots of snow and super windy conditions so loading and unloading everybody is a big pain.

But the best part of my day was the conversation I had with my hubby when he got home. Here's how it went:

Me: Hi Honey. How was your day?
Him: Good! How was yours?
Me: (laughing) Good. We're working on it.
Him: Good. I'm glad it went okay.
Me: So, what's the plan for swimming lessons tonight?
Him: Well, my mom isn't coming so I don't think the entire family needs to go.
Me: Yeah, the weather is kinda bad.
Him: I was thinking, you could take her, then you could get some time to yourself. I will bathe Kellen and Owen and fix dinner.
Me: Um....YES!

Isn't he wonderful! It was great to have 25 minutes of quiet to just catch up on emails. And dinner was ready when I got home.

I love my hubby!