Blognonymous-My Life as a Host Mom

"I am participating in The Daily Dribbles and Domestically Challenged Blognonymous Blog Hop. The post below is not my own post. I'm hosting a post for someone else, and in turn, someone else is also hosting a post of mine, all anonymously. Click through the links below to view all the bloggers and posts in Blognonymous."

*I'd like to apologize to this blogger since I posted mine up later than what was expected.*

<center><a href="http://thedailydribbles.com" mce_href="http://thedailydribbles.com" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="The Daily Dribbles" src=" http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y14/kdawley/BlognonymousButton.jpg " mce_src=" http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y14/kdawley/BlognonymousButton.jpg "/></a></center>

My Life as a Host Mom

Has anybody out there ever hosted a foreign exchange student (FES)? When I was in 6th grade, my family hosted a FES from Scandinavia for a year, and that same year my sister was a FES to Europe. So, when we got an e-mail about a FES from my son's high school needing to change homes, we talked about it and decided to do it. My parents didn't seem to have any trouble out of their FES, so it couldn't be that bad, right? One difference between their FES and ours is the age: their FES was 18; ours is 16. Another difference is where they're from. Scandinavia is very different, culture-wise, from the Middle East. So, yeah, we're having some issues.

Our FES doesn't seem to understand the concept of going to sleep at a reasonable hour. Last weekend I thought we had established that bedtime on weekends is 12:00, but last Friday night he woke me up at 2:00 using the bathroom and brushing his teeth. Hubby can't understand why doors opening/closing and toilet flushing (the bathroom backs up to our bathroom) wakes me up. Ever hear of "mommy radar"? Yep, that's the same radar that wakes mamas up when the babies are crying while the hubby snores on. When I called FES on it, he said, "12:00 on weekends?" Uh, yeah. That's what the written house guidelines specify. Look. It. Up.
I guess I should mention that FES is on probation. He screws up again, and he's on a plane back to the Middle East. We're having a "Battle of wills" in the house. He will not win. Not by a long shot. Saturday morning I was just about to tell him that he was walking on thin ice, and that I was going to give him a month to see if he could learn to live by the rules. If not, "see ya later". But I didn't. I have a feeling that talk will be happening pretty soon.

Saturday afternoon, one of my sons was looking through his stuff to decide what he is taking back to school. He gave FES a pocket knife, which I'm pretty sure he's not suppose to have. I told my son that FES couldn't have it, and FES told me that he didn't want it, but then followed it up with, "I'm not 9 years old." Ignore or address? PMS and not enough sleep...guess what I did. I asked him who he was talking to, and then told him that I hoped it wasn't me because that was very disrespectful and would not be tolerated. Do you have any idea how being a bitch doesn't have the same effect if you have to explain what "tolerated" means? I changed it to "I'm not going to put up with it". He said he was confused (but, was he really, or was he playing dumb?). I looked at my son and told him to help me, to which he replied, "She's not having any of it." I finally said, "If you do it again, you're going to be in big trouble. I will not be disrespected like that." I think he got the message: he apologized a little later. One of my sons or even my hubby must've told him to apologize.

It took me about a week to realize that I needed to take one of his phones at night so he wouldn't spend half the night texting his little girlfriend from home who is a student in another state, with a different organization. I take it up when I go to bed, and he gets it the next day. I haven't let him take it to school since he was busted by the organization's area rep for being on facebook during school hours.

I can't, for the life of me, understand why someone approved this kid to leave his parents (who didn't want him to come) for a year. I mean, if the parents didn't want him to leave, shouldn't that have disqualified him? 16 is awfully young for a kid to leave his home country and go live with somebody else in a completely different culture. When you're 16, you think you know it all, and your parents are stupid. Add to that immaturity, and that spells disaster. I think he had visions of the USA being like tv, and he gets placed in a very small town with not a whole lot to do.
I really don't want this kid to be sent packing. Our job is to treat him as one of our own, which hubby is having a hard time doing. He's still in the "let's be nice to the visitor" stage. I got over that on day 2. He told me I need to "ease up" on him; I tell him he needs to "tighten up". During the school week, he is to be in his room at 10:00, getting ready for lights out at 11:00. The other night, it was 10:15. I looked at hubby and told him the time. He got up, went into the kitchen, and I heard him talking to FES for a while. When hubby came back into the living room, I reminded him that FES was suppose to be in his room at 10:00. He said, "Well, he was getting a drink of water." My response: "He's like a little kid...he's stalling."

Yes...I'm sure FES feels like he's landed in hell. Hopefully he'll get past this stage of thinking he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants, and will settle in and have a good rest of the year. Until then, welcome to hell!