I can be so horrible to my kids

Being pregnant and having the patience of, well, a child, I often don't treat them the best.

I'm a yeller. I'm pretty sure Super Nanny could have a full episode dedicated to issues associated with my yelling. "My kids are so loud, Super Nanny. I don't know why but I can't handle the noise." Um yeah, that's because they've learned from the best.

This weekend was no different. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and it takes me three times the amount of time to do things as normal. I can't pick anything up off the floor without it being exhausting. I'm not sleeping, I have heartburn and I'm starting to get anxious.

None of this is their fault nor do they really realize how I feel. They are 4 and almost 2--why should they?

So when they are fighting and screaming and throwing stuff, I just fly off the handle. (Hubby is guilty too).

After baths last night, I decided to relax and read the kids a book.

(Off topic--I went to the Books Are Fun book fair on Thursday night and spent almost $100 on new books. If I had to read "10 Little Lady Bugs" one more time, my head was going to explode!)

I picked up the book "I Love You So" by Marianne Richmond and proceeded to read it to Olivia.

Needless to say, I was chocked up and in tears about 3 pages in. How could I possibly treat my children so horribly when I love them so? It's a weird juxtaposition. I yell, I feel guilty, I yell again, I feel worse. It's a circle of annoyance for me.

Have you ever had that feeling? Where you feel so guilty about yelling at your kids? Do you ever need a reality check to calm down and remember how lucky you are?

If you do, buy this book.

Get out the Kleenex ladies:

"I love you."

"How much?"

"So much."

"How much is 'so'?"

"WAY, WAY More than you know..."

"I love you as BRILLIANT as each sparkling star, and as WAY OUT as space, I love you THAT far.

I love you as GIGANTIC as a great lion's roar, and as DEEP as the ocean, I love you MUCH more.

I love you as loud as a thundery sky, and as tall as the mountains, I love you that high.
I love you as silly as a puppy dog's kiss, and as quiet as midnight, I love you like this.

"Do you love me every day?" you ask with surprise. "Or does love come and go like passing butterflies?"
I love you as steady as the moon and the sun, though some of our days are not full of fun.

"Like when you feel mad?" you ask with distress, "cause I've broken the rules or made a big mess?"
I love you when you're nice. I love you cranky too. I love you without liking the naughty things you do.

My 'love you' doesn't change like the weather of the days. It's a certain kind of thing in many different ways.
You're my sweetie, my dear, my smile and giggle. You're my playmate for always, my hug and my wiggle.

Hanging out with you is where I like to be, eating ice cream sundaes or watching TV.
Under your umbrella, behind you on a bike, by you and beside you is what I really like.

I can't imagine life before you came along. You are the music to my dance and my song.
I am meant for you, and you are meant for me, the one I love forevermore. Undeniably.

"I love you."
"How much?"

"So much."

"How much is 'so'?"

"WAY, WAY More than you know..."